No relationship is perfect.
And, I know that.
However, have you found yourself around certain people in your life who are just too exhausting to deal with? You feel drained out of energy, negative, and often irritable when you are around them.
Such people are called toxic.
But, here is the funny thing. Who are these people? Do you know them? Can you point out who amongst your circle of relationships makes you feel this way?
Several recent experiences have made me think about a lot of my relationships.
Family, friends, coworkers, everyone!
Maybe because I just had a baby and I am all hopped up in hormones. Or maybe because I lost my best friend, my father so suddenly that I started evaluating life, the people in it, and what is worth living, fighting, and sacrificing for.
I am the type of person who likes to fix things before giving up on it completely. The same applies to all my relationships. I try to amend myself and forgive and forget people to ensure close-knit bonds.
However, some relationships are not worth fixing nor fighting for. These are the toxic relationships we live in.
Here are some traits of toxic individuals to look out for. If you have someone in your life like this, step back and think whether your happiness and sanity is worth keeping them in your life.
8 Traits of Toxic Individuals
Toxic people are mean and judgmental
They call themselves straightforward however, toxic individuals are overly critical towards you, picking on things and being incorrigibly rude. And this is only an outward projection because nothing about them is ever wrong – or at least that is what they think.
And, if you did point out their mistakes, they know how to fight for themselves. In fact they not only defend themselves, but also make you feel like it is your fault.
Toxic individuals are very manipulative. They will charm you into doing things for them, and make you believe that you want to do it all along. It is never about you but only them. However, they manipulate you into believing that they are always fair and what you do for them is by your choice not theirs.
They use their manipulative skills to play with your conscience. Even if they are at fault, how they present themselves and their case always ends up making you the guilty party. They make you defend yourself till the end, but they use their own judgment about you to make decisions. In other words, anything you say in your defense does not change how they feel about you or the situation they put you.
Selfish and uncaring
Yep, anyone with the traits mentioned above is obviously a selfish and insensitive person. They do not care about other peoples’ feelings. But wait, this is not something you can visibly see in them. Their actions often make you and others believe that they have the best interest in mind for everyone. They act like they care about you, but they only do things for you for their ego.
Toxic people expect a lot from you. Like I said, everything is about them, therefore, they expect you to play the part and be there for them no matter what. They expect you to help them, fix their problems, and take pity on them. Their expectations are draining and even frustrating on many occasions because it is never ending. And believe me, there is no reciprocity from their end.
It is all about them. They never see any of their own faults. Self-reflection is a foreign concept to them. Toxic people think very highly of themselves. Like I said, anything they do for others is only to feed their ego. It must benefit them in some way otherwise they would never do it.
Controlling and irrational
Toxic individuals think that they are in charge. They are the boss of everything and everyone, and they are not willing to step down from this role. They control their atmosphere, the people in it, and the situations because they believe they know better than you. And no, they do not take anyone’s advice. They will, if it feeds their ego or boils down to helping them or making them look better.
If you know someone like this, it would be best to evaluate your relationship and situation and do what is in your best interest. Being around toxic individuals can make us negative and have self-doubt.
That toxic person in our life can be anyone – friend, partner, coworkers, or any other family member. Once you realize that you are in a toxic relationship, it may or may not be easy to get out of it. But learn to protect yourself from this bully. Make changes to keep you sane and positive and learn to draw the line when necessary.
Inspiration/research: Psychology Today