Okay so please don’t hate me when you read this post. But I must write it to get it off my chest.
Ready? Here you go!
I live with my in-laws. It is a culture-thing because my husband is the only son so culturally and dutifully, we all live together to help them out.There are many great reasons to living with in-laws. And, then there are some not-so-great ones.
After we moved back from LA, when Arya, my oldest, was about 1 ½ years old, I got the real taste of how living with in-laws can suck big time!
I do like them, don’t get me wrong, but there are many instances where living with them as grandparents makes my mom-life a living hell!
15 Reasons Grandparents are Really Annoying
Bed time issues.
This is my biggest annoyance!
I wish I could have one of those nightly routines where after the kids go to bed, mom and dad can watch TV, have quiet and alone time, maybe even relax or get some sleep. But nope, my nightly routine often involves chasing Arya around the house begging, persuading, and sometimes yelling her to go to sleep.
Her grandmother often interferes stating that it is still early (8/9pm), or that Arya will sleep with her.
I seriously hate that!
I can’t sleep until I know my kids are asleep
And with Arya awake and still playing or involved in activities, I can not rest or have any alone time.
This was not an issue when we didn’t live around grandparents.
P.S. For the most part, I do get my way and I either force Arya in bed or use my charms with books, singing, or just rocking her in my arms. Nevertheless, I hate the big dramafied process that happens during bedtime.
Grandparents don’t understand “No”.
No ice-cream, no TV, no unnecessary extra toys.
I understand that grandparents can spoil their grand-kids but not at the expense of breaking a rule set by me or my husband (the parents). Or, by going over our head to do it.
Grandparents don’t get boundaries.
This goes with the no ice-cream/TV thing, but much more. They don’t understand where to draw the line with the kids’ behavior or even their own. They do as they please and also encourage the little ones to do the same.
Parents are the bad guys.
Another irritating one!
They make us, the parents, look like the bad guys. They don’t understand that these are our kids, and what we say goes.
Of course, they acted as our bosses when we were little but now, when we try to set boundaries or rules, they jump in and save the day, making us look bad on purpose!
Grandparents spoil grand-kids.
As if loving them is not enough, they often do things to spoil the kids.
The extra gifts, going above and beyond, jump in to rescue…they do all this without consulting with us parents.
Grandparents are not reliable babysitters.
Okay so in my case, my in-laws aren’t very reliable when it comes to watching Arya or her sister.
I work from home; therefore, I try not to rely on them to watch my girls. However, when I do need their help, they are not available. They have appointments, or are busy, or have errands; all of which can be valid, but I often feel like saying, dude, you jump in when not needed but when needed, you aren’t there!
Additionally, they throw shameful remarks like “if you raise your kids, then you will learn what parenting it”.
Umm duh! I am raising my girls (my husband too!). But honestly, kids today are more difficult to raise than back in the day when we were kids!
Our parents had it easy!
Grandparents allow too much freedom.
The “so-what” attitude really annoys me!
I am very protective of my girls. Sure, sometimes I can be hovering, but they are still young.
However, my mom in law allows Arya to do things I consider a safety hazard. I often make comments or tell her to stop, and even though she listens at that moment, she still allows Arya to have her way with many situations / things I don’t approve of.
Question our parenting style.
I am so sick of hearing outdated, 80s/90s parenting advice from grandparents.
Surely, they raised their kids and successfully, but like I said, children, the generation, and the time are all different now.
Grandparents are too quick to question our parenting style, often condemning it more, especially the disciplinary techniques.
Grandparents compare a lot.
Whether it’s comparing between grand-kids, or comparing them with kids outside the home, grandparents love to make comparisons!
I really don’t like hearing that my daughter is exactly like her nephew.
Children can display similar behaviors in a situation, but that does not make them alike!
Grandparents love to break rules.
Enough said! 😐
King/Queen of emotional blackmailing
Omg! Another irritating one.
They love using emotions with their children (us), especially when it comes to breaking rules for their grand-kids.
Who knows how long we will be around to spend time with them!
Yep! Major emotional drama.
Grandparents interfere a lot.
When Arya was sick, my mom in law would come in our room in the middle of the night, take her in her arms, and start rubbing Vicks, or giving her cold compression etc.
Umm, okay I appreciate that, but I know how to handle my sick baby!
I also know how to comfort her when she is having a tantrum, or give her a proper bath, or even feed her.
Grandparents often think that just because they have the experience, they can take over whenever they like.
They will make comments that taking care of your own children is parenting, but when it comes down to it, they like to jump in and be the boss of the situation.
Share pictures without asking.
Yep, they love showing-off the pictures of their grand-kids; if not on social media then to other families, near and far. And they never ask if it’s okay!
When Arya was born, I did not share her pictures on social media for over a year. I was nervous and that’s just how I felt and did. I made that clear with my husband and grandparents.
I did not set any such rules with my second daughter, but I wasn’t too happy when her pictures were shared to families abroad.
Grandparents love taking credits.
They love taking credits for good behavior and achievements and blaming the failures and naughty behaviors on the parents!
Ask for more grand-kids.
Oh this one is really annoying.
In my case, I have 2 girls and according to my mom in law, a boy is mandatory for traditional and cultural reasons.
I say, screw it!
It’s my body, and my decision.
Okay maybe the decision is joint between my husband and me, but I still get more say in the matter.
I already told my husband I am done and we both are okay with it, but I often hear comments that more grandchildren would be a good thing for the family!
So there you have it guys.
These points don’t apply to every single grandparent, but I am sure that every grandparent has been guilty of at least one of them.
I know having grandparents around is the best thing in the world.
All the above actions have one reason behind them: Love! They love their grand-kids hence they get nutty for them. 🙂
Nevertheless, I believe they should be a little more objective so it makes our lives as parents a little less difficult.
Hi! I am Ashna. I am a working mom of 2 little girls, and I love organizing, writing and learning new ways to balance work and family life. If you like what you read, please do comment and share 🙂 !