These past several years have been a very transformative one for me.
After losing my father and a baby in 2017, I started drowning in a dark abyss. Needless to say that I did not realize this until very recently, but when I did, it was an eye-opener. The last two years have been a roller coaster of emotions where I have felt angry, sad, depressed, lost, and empty, and had happy moments as well as confusing ones.
Did I mention it was a roller coaster ride?
However, in the last several months, I started paying closer attention to how my behavior affected those around me; especially my children and my immediate family, and most of all, how it affected me!
I decided to make some major changes.
I made my mental health a big priority after I saw myself having too many lows daily. And as I get older, I am forced to think about the kind of life I want for my family and myself.
I created a list of things that bothered my psyche and started to tackle things that I could off that list. Being open and honest about these things was not an easy task, however, I know that the only way I can make a change is by being honest about what my true problems were.
I am a fantastic mother, but I always doubt myself.
I am a hard worker, but I let others tell me otherwise.
I have many skills, but I stay behind and, in the shadows, so others don’t see it, or appreciate my skills.
I made some career choices in the past – such as not going for Ph.D. six years ago and I often beat myself for that, without doing anything about it.
My perfectionist nature always hinders my progress on everything I plan to do.
And I let my health slide after having kids thinking it was not as important as my 24-hour dedication to my children [trust me, I have no idea why I thought this!! 😐]
As I embrace my 36th birthday, I have realized that the first step to change is acknowledgment. And I do! I always put my needs – both physical and mental – the last, but I have began making time for myself. Most of all I have started to accept situations and people that I cannot change in my life. It is what it is – just accept it and move forward. That includes getting older …. 🙂
I pay attention to my accomplishments in life which I never did before. Selling myself short was one of my biggest weakness. My desire to have a peaceful mindset and a happy life led me to see and accept things for what it’s worth. There is only so much I can control and if I cannot, then I choose to walk away from it; be it people or situations.
Okay, phew, heavy stuff over!! 🙂
So here’s to another birthday and embracing a continuous journey of personal growth, acceptance, and peaceful living.